Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Saying No Is Hard



Anyone who is busy will tell you that they need to "say no more."  We have all been there.  We commit to something and realize once you are in the middle of it, that you don't have time to be everywhere.  This is not unique to me or to you.

I have read MANY books and articles and blogs reminding me of the power of 'no."  One of my favorites rules was, "If the answer is not HELL YES, then it should be no."  The idea, of course, is that if you are not really excited about a project then it will only drain energy and time away from the things that really matter.  A lot of these books even tell you that people asking will really respect and understand when you say "no."

See that's the hard part.  Not really.

Though there are people that will appreciate that you don't want to commit to something you won't follow through with, not all people will feel that way.  They understand that you are busy (that is likely why they are asking you!) but most feel that their project is really important (otherwise they wouldn't be doing it!).  In my experience, they will be disappointed and even (sometimes) annoyed. 

So saying no can be really hard.  But it's worth it.

As I said above, if you say "yes" to everything (and I have totally done this) you end up doing nothing really well.  You are over-stressed and under-delivering.  And here's the other thing, you are not actually enjoying any of it either. 

In a very personal example, I have not gone to all of my daughters' dance competitions this year.  I am not an absent dad, but I don't enjoy these.  However, this week I am going to watch.  And you know what?  I am excited about it!  I am looking forward to the whole activity!  It's amazing how sometimes saying 'no' can enhance the activity of saying 'yes.'

But you already know this!  So let this serve as a quick reminder.  Unless the answer is "Hell Yes," say "No."

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